Trendy middle class people who live in the ‘vibrant’ and ‘cosmopolitan’ areas of South Manchester are today starting to get concerned about how the snow will affect their middle class, mid-week activities. Manchester saw between 5cm and 10cm of snow fall over the weekend and continued freezing temperatures will mean that the crystalline water ice version of precipitation is likely to remain for a number of days.
“I’m meant to have a Bikram Yoga class at 11am on Monday”, said West Didsbury mother-of-two Francesca Bartholomew. “But there’s a strong possibility that the schools will be closed, so I will probably have to look after my children Xavier, 4, and Amelia, 6, instead. It’s devastating.”
“Could you please make sure you put West Didsbury?”, added Francesca. “I don’t want people thinking I live in East Didsbury. I’m not a savage.”
Chorlton-cum-Hardy business owner Hugo Grilf is equally concerned. Grilf runs Ven Space, a Venezuelan-themed vegan cafe and chess club on Barlow Moor Road.
“We have a cookery class arranged for Tuesday morning”, Grilf explained. “Acclaimed lesbian author and Venezuelan food enthusiast Maria Lappergap was due to come in and teach local residents how to make a vegan version of Bien Me Sabe, a type of Venezuelan coconut layer cake. This is now in doubt, it’s such a shame.”
“Some of my girlfriends bought me a voucher for a meditation and reiki healing session which I’d booked for Monday evening”, said Sale resident Felicity Russell who owns Sass!, a digital business to business boutique PR consultancy for the fashion industry. “I’ve tried tweeting the owner to see if they are open but I’ve not heard anything back. I have no idea what I’ll do.”
News Manc reporter and Altrincham resident Melanie Garlogie has seen the panic unfold firsthand and warned that things could escalate.
“I’ve not seen anything like it since the big snow of 1998”, she said. “You name an activity and you’ll find that it’s being cancelled in South Manchester. Poetry readings, 1950s Argentinian film screenings, owl knitting clubs, gentle boxercise for new Mums, Advocaat-based cocktail evenings, gyrotonic exercise classes, organic pork-pie making sessions, ironic rollerskating, Orangina appreciation societies, unicycle repair classes, feminist literature book clubs, calligraphy marathons, stretch and play toddler groups. I could go on and on, but it’s safe to say that they’re all in doubt at this stage.”
“South Manchester is essentially at crisis point”, said Garlogie. “The next few days will be critical.”
Reports of looting at a Fairtrade artisan bakery in Hale Barns could not be confirmed as News Manc went to press.