"Anything we can do to help" - Manchester City Council
Manchester City Council have written to Glasgow Council to suggest a sponsored trashing of Glasgow city centre in aid of cash-stricken football club Rangers.
The Glaswegian footballing giants and professional city wreckers went in to administration yesterday after running up reported tax bills of nearly £50m.
“We thought it was the right thing to do in the circumstances”, said Manchester City Council Chief Executive Malcolm Grendier.
“Our officials have set up a Just Giving page and we will be looking for 200,000 Mancunian volunteers who can spare just one evening out of their busy schedules to travel up to Glasgow, drink their own body weight in strong continental lager and then lay siege to the city in a scene reminiscent of Braveheart”.
“All we ask is that each Mancunian commits to raising at least £50 in sponsorship which will go towards paying Glasgow Rangers’ crippling debt”, said Grendier, whilst clearly trying not to laugh.
“We’ll provide coaches, alcohol and sectarian song lyrics, you just need to bring the spirit and determination to bring a city to its fucking knees”.
News Manc spoke to Glasgow City Council Chief Executive Jock Daniels and asked him whether they would be accepting the offer from Manchester.
Unfortunately we rang him in the afternoon and the combination of his strong Glaswegian accent and a day spent drinking heavily meant that we were unable to understand anything he said.
We think he was up for it though.
If you are interested in taking part in the sponsored pillaging of Glasgow please e-mail Manchester City Council and, in 300 words or less, detail your previous experience in destroying cities, exactly how drunk you’d get and how you plan to raise the money.
February 15, 2012 at 11:47
As someone who was in Manchester city centre that evening when Rangers fans p*ssed on our city so much it was running in rivers down the street and flooded the the disabled lift at The Royal Exchange, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer club.
February 18, 2012 at 21:46
Dear everyone in Manchester, that is such a kind offer that one cannot help but appreciate thoughts of your city’s good people. However, may I point out that many of my fellow Glaswegians would be as happy to see the back of Glasgow Rangers as you were in 2008. The good thing for all citizens of planet Earth is that this time, without well meaning but ill-judged intervention, it could be for good. So, if your charity drive does go ahead, please restrict your pilgrimage to the Govan area and distribute any monies collected amongst the unfortunate people of your own city who were so badly ‘inconvenienced’ by the marauding hordes of blue, red and white orcs who escaped from Glasgow’s very own Mordor on that fateful day.
Yours in Green and White (eating Jelly and Ice Cream when Rangers die), Willow
February 22, 2012 at 01:31
the scottish newspapers said it was english chelsea fans though…………….it’s hard to tell them apart though,bald heads,wearing blue,tatoo’s and a racist nature
February 20, 2012 at 17:30
You had to put up with them for a couple of days, we have to live with them!
February 20, 2012 at 17:40
If it’s any consolation, that was them behaving normally.
February 21, 2012 at 16:58
Your a packet of ham
February 21, 2012 at 03:05
Keep in mind that not all Rangers fans are arses. I’m a Rangers fan, and i don’t appreciate people judging me and calling me names just because of the team I support. You shouldnt brand the whole bunch of us fans just because some of them are twats. I walked home from blockbuster the other night, casually with one friend and my 12 year old celtic supporting sister. A guy walked past me and called me F@cking Scum. I never said anything to provoke him, I hate the way people get like that over a damn game. Unfortunately it will never change lol. But saying something like that just cos i’m wearing a Rangers top in front of a 12 year old is ridiculous.
February 21, 2012 at 23:57
rest assured the good people of manchester, they wont be back !!
hail hail
February 22, 2012 at 01:06
Next season when Rangers are dead the orcs are all going to support Man UTD and be down every other weekend so nae luck.
February 22, 2012 at 08:41
Would like to point out that not all scottish people or football fans are like these thugs!
Unfortunatley you had the dregs of scottish society in your city on that occasion!
February 23, 2012 at 14:55
I can provide B & B Bhoys. No make that F/ B!! HaiL HaiL
February 23, 2012 at 15:46
Think yourselves lucky.
They could have won!!!
February 25, 2012 at 08:02
That’s why Celtic and Rangers will never be invited to join the EPL. Imagine this happening on a weekly basis in cities across England!!
February 26, 2012 at 11:03
Alan, what a ridiculous comment! If, in the mid-eighties when English teams (club and national) were banned from European competitions, I suggested that ALL English fans were thugs you would quite rightly say ‘that’s nonsense’. Do not tar US with THEIR brush! As recently as 2003 Celtic fans were awarded the FIFA and UEFA Fair Play Award for the good behaviour of our fans. The only reason we won’t be invited to join the EPL is because the teams outwith the top 6 are scared of having another big team in their league.
April 11, 2012 at 10:11
scared of celtic…apart from the ocasional win you have you’d do nothing down here.and as i said scared of celtic….more worried of the things your “fans” might blow up..you’d better stay in the heart disease capital of europe,because should you ever beat man utd at old trafford….25000 would drop down dead after the shock…..lol
February 29, 2012 at 10:43
PLEASE LAEVE CELTIC OUT OFF THIS,AS OUR FANS ARE THE BEST IN EUROPE,DONT TAR US WITH THE SAME BRUSH M8,AS THEYR A DIFFERENT BREED,FOOTBALL IS THE LAST THING THEY WANT TO SEE WHEN THEY GO TO A MATCH.ITS A CHANCH FOR THEM TO GET TOGETHER AND SING THEIR VILE SONGS
April 11, 2012 at 10:07
and you think we’ll forget your “fans” blowing up pubs or the killing of women and children in england…you’re worse than rangers..at least they’re honest…question how come the ira never bombed glasgow……too close to home maybe….you have no idea how hated celtic is down here.and remember when scotland is independent you’ll be stuck in a rangers fan run country…..then you’re stuck in the SPHell for ad infinitum…..so as for coming to england and english football….fail fail…..lol
February 25, 2012 at 08:33
I love Manchester. It’s always been a brilliant city – even before it was given a bit of a polish up a few years ago, an initiative that these @rseholes did their level best to reverse when they visited.
I’d happily donate to your very compassionate act, but would urge you to keep the lot for yourselves in order to celebrate with style with litres of bubbly (not the fortified alcohols which that lot prefer) and lashings of jelly and ice cream when this horrible, lumbering dinosaur of a club finally crashes to the ground, writhing in agony as it dies.
As someone else already said, we unfortunately have to live with this lot 365 days a year, so you have my every sympathy.
February 25, 2012 at 14:57
Please Liquidate This poison from society …HMRC..Its in your power
Revenge of Manchester
February 27, 2012 at 08:37
Oh what a gay today…. mwwwwwwwaaaaa xx
February 27, 2012 at 10:11
Think yourselves lucky, you only had one side of the axis of evil for one night. We’ve got two of them constantly
March 7, 2012 at 13:46
wot youve never experienced riots in england ? get your head out your arse.
March 22, 2012 at 22:55
Who wrecked Manchester last year ? that’s right, the Mancunians.
Who bombed and destroyed it in the 90′s ? The IRA, The Terrorists that the Celtic fans sing about all the time.
A largely well behaved crowd of 200,000 littering and pissing like at any huge open air event isn’t quite the same. Yes there were several hundred morons that fought with police and caused some damage but nothing compared to those other events.
Give us a break…..
Anyone fancy a piece of my Killie pie !?
May 8, 2012 at 18:29
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May 8, 2012 at 21:05
Glasgow Rangers have suporters who live in the past,they call themselves Orange men,after prince William of orange.They have a hatetrade for all things Cathloic,here in Scotland they are alowed to march past Cathloic churches playing there flutes and beeting their drums.It doesnt matter where in europe they go to follow their team they cause trouble,its not only Manchester They have some good supporters but the ones who hate outnumber them.Most clubs here in Scotland dont want them in the league because of the moreons who attach them selves to this club.